Cruel twist of fate
by sirius gyal
Summary: Melissa is grief stricken after losing Nick, only when she is asleep can she find real comfort. Some swearing Nelissa one shot story. Please read and review and tell me what you think


Melissa was curled up on her bed eyes closed asleep, that was the only way she could remember him, see his face, and smell his aftershave. Sleeping he was still with her and nothing had changed awake she was beginning to forget things about him his eyes, the way his hair would fall into his face when he was thinking too hard or angry. She didn't want to forget him but with every waking day he was disappearing from her.

**"Nick."** She muttered turning over in her bed, her restless sleep had sent her covers to the floor hours before. Her hand stretched out and touched his and her breathing calmed, opening her eyes she saw him there next to her his hair contrasted with the white of her bed sheets. Her light at the end of the lonely dark tunnel she had been running through trying to get out of. His hand touched her cheek, stroking the damp tears that fell from her eyes. Melissa moved towards his hand needing to feel that contact with him. She opened her eyes and his smile pierced a bigger hole into her heart, sniffing loudly she leaned on her elbow getting lost in his gaze. Nick lay on his back peering up at her with those fathomless eyes of his looking into her soul like only he could.

_"You have to stop this Lissa. It's not good for you." _he said brushing his finger through her hair brush the stray strands away from her eyes. She turned her head again into the caress it was her life line kissing his finger she leaned down and kissed him deeply letting her hands hold his face so pale now but warm and still hers. With their bodies pressed together like this she could almost feel the heat radiate from his skin it was as if he was real though her mind kept telling her that this wasn't real, that this was another cruel dream set on her because though her friends had long forgotten him and expect her to get over it, she couldn't move on his loss was a physical ache to her everyday pressing down on her like a lead weight. Melissa's hands found their way to his shirt and with help it was pulled over his head her shirt came off seconds later. It was a frenzy of kissing, caresses and tears she felt pleasure and pain at the same time so acutely she thought she would die from its presence of it.

Laying in his arms she sighed as his hand brushed against her spine he kissed her forehead the lull was a peaceful one **"Is this the part where you disappear again?" **she asked as the realisation that soon she would probably wake up to a empty room. His piercing stare at her told her that they were going to have an argument he always got that look with her when she pointed out something he didn't want to admit to or face.

_"You think I want to go? This isn't easy for me."_

**"I didn't say that you wanted to, it was a simple question. It just required a yes."**And so it began. Melissa got out of the bed and pulled on shirt the guilt beginning to eat away at her ebbing away another piece of herself that she couldn't afford to lose.

_"Do you think this is any easier for me leaving you knowing that this might be the last time I see you." _Nick got out of the bed too pulling on clothes all the while glaring daggers at her.

**"So it's my fault you leave?"**

_"I didn't say that! God stop putting words in my mouth."_

**"No that is what you are saying it my fault you leave. So make this decision while you are still here and you aren't forced to go. Do you want to leave?" **she asked placing a hand on her hip.

He ran a hand through his hair his voice coming out as a growl _"Of course I don't. Do you want me to go?"_

**"No but you are acting like I am the one who has all the choices in this weird thing that seems to keep happening so if you want to leave get out I won't stop you."**

_"Fine!" _he shouted turning away from her and taking a few step away from her, Melissa bit her lip wondering if she had gone too far this time _"You really aren't going to stop me?"_

**"This is your choice remember, I am not going to hold you here against your will."**

_"It's that black and white for you? Stay or go doesn't matter either way. I never thought you were that cold Lissa."_

Turning on the light in her bathroom Melissa wiped the makeup off her face roughly **"Easy for you to say, I will wake up tomorrow feeling like shit wishing that this was real, wishing that it was me that had died," **the words that she had been harbouring around with her finally came out and in an instant he was there at her side spinning her around and shaking her hard.

_"I wouldn't want that for you, why would you wish something like that?"_

**"Because if I had died you would still be here and I wouldn't feel like a murderer for the rest of life! That it's my fault you are dead, that we should have switched places." **Melissa shouted the tears threatening to fall again. The hands that had moments before shook her enveloped her into a hug and she broke down sinking onto the floor Nick cradling her, being the strength she had lost the moment Faye had told her he'd drowned.

_"I wouldn't wish that, this is the way it is Lissa" _he pushed at her chin making her look up at him _"I love you, I should have said that a long time ago but I've always had crappy timing. Never doubt that." _Nick brushed his lips against hers again, her heart felt a little lighter she had always thought he had but the words confirmed it.

**"I love you too." **she murmured against his lips.

The banging on her door forced her eyes open and again she was alone in her room the guilt that much heavier that breath seemed impossible. Faye burst into her room all designer perfume and aloofness of what she was feeling and she questioned why she was friends with her, for the first time she was seeing her for what she truly was. Her curtains were drawn open and she winced as the sunlight she had been avoiding hit her in the face.

**_"Enough with the moping Melissa, it's been two weeks and frankly you could do with a shower." _**The delicate wrinkle of Faye's nose told her the truths of her life, her dreams were much more important to her now than this life.

**"I'm not feeling good, so could you go please. I have a migraine coming on." **She said as she pulled the blanket up to her chin turning her back on her best friend not wanting to deal with her right now, no doubt she came to prattle on about Jake, she would have sold him in a second to have Nick back with her.

Faye started talking but it all sounded like white noise to her going through one ear and going out of the other, she wanted to be alone with her grief so she could see him to be with him, anything was better than being trapped within a circle with the same magic that caused so many problems.

**_"Are you listening to me Melissa?" _**Faye asked in a exasperated tone, Melissa got up then throwing off her blanket. Frustration like none she had ever felt for the girl standing before her.

**"No Faye! For once I am not listening to the mounds of crap coming from your mouth, I don't care. You still don't get it, unlike Jake who fucked off and left you Nick isn't coming back." **Her derisive laugh cut the room like a knife and she saw her friend physically flinch **"When Jake left you that time, I sat with you, babied you, listened to every whine and complaint you had about him. Watched you drive yourself crazy over a guy who wasn't worth a second of your time. My boyfriends ****_dies! _****And all I get from you is a pat on the back and you're forcing me to get over it, acting like nothing happened like he didn't exist." **Melissa raked her hand through her hair, **"Get out!" **she yelled at her turning her back and storming into her bathroom. The slamming door sent a shock wave through her room, pressing her forehead to the cool glass of the medicine cabinet she looked at herself and saw what everyone else must have seen when they looked at her.

Opening the cabinet she took out the Advil and filled the glass with water, taking two she swallowed it down with the water. Staring blankly at the packet of pills in her hand she refilled her glass again and placed another pill in her mouth followed by more water. One tablet after another she took until the packet was empty. Walking back to her bed she got in burying her head into her pillow willing sleep to come to her again. Her vision became blurred then it cleared and Nick was with her again, she no longer felt alone.


End file.
